Second Stall Snob

From Heather:

For the last few weeks I've been really trying to drink the recommended 64-72 oz of water a day. This leads to frequent visits to the ladies’ room. 

In the women's restroom at work, there are three stalls. I read a study once that the least used stall is the first one, ever since then I use the first stall which leaves two stalls available. . . well really, it only leaves one stall available: the third one. The second stall is to be left vacant to be used as a buffer.  

If someone does use the second stall, all of the sudden my moment of quiet turns into an anxiety attack. I try not to look at her shoes. Once I see her shoes, I can’t help it, I subconsciously try to guess who she is from her shoes. Then I turn into the bathroom timekeeper and think ‘wow that was fast’ or ‘whoa wonder what she had for dinner last night, whatever it was it can’t be good’.  Then, as I’m timing her I think ‘okay, do I have time to wash my hands and get out before she does, or should I dink around in here until I hear the bathroom door close on her way out.’ All of this because someone doesn’t know the proper etiquette of using the second stall.

It seems to me that this should be common knowledge:  if someone is in the first stall use the third, if someone is in the third use the first. It is rare occasion at my place of employment that all three stalls are occupied at the same time.  If, by chance, both the first and third stalls are being used—wait.  By entering the second stall, you just told your toilet neighbors ‘oh hey girl, I know that you are in there doing your business but I have no regard for the bathroom buffer.’ Um, not okay.

Now, back to my real life. So last Thursday I went to the restroom—pleasant surprise—no one was occupying the first or third stall. So I took the first. I hear the bathroom door open and footsteps moving across the tile floor. Then I see her feet, but she doesn’t just keep on walking to the third stall, she goes into the second! Right next to me! No, no, no. I ever so slowly move my feet away from her, afraid that if she sees my shoes she might guess it’s me in here. I’m feeling uncomfortable so I do what I need to do and get out. As I’m washing my hands, I hear her toilet flush. I really start to hurry now, I don’t want her to come out and have that awkward moment, ‘oh hey did you just pee? Ya, so did I.’ Phew, I made it out of there before she came out of the stall.

Immediately, I text my friend and tell her how this girl came in and broke bathroom protocol. She came in the second stall!!! We decided this must just be a rookie mistake. Unfortunately, (not sure if for me or for her) while she was sitting on the toilet in her stall and me sitting on the toilet in my stall, I saw her shoes. I knew who she was and I couldn’t help but judge her. Then I thought ‘give her the benefit of the doubt, maybe she had to go so bad she had to go to the closest stall.’ This is the only reason to use the second stall when someone is in the first.

That was my second mistake. First was looking at her shoes, second giving her the benefit of the doubt.

So today there I am, again, in the first stall. Second and third stalls both unoccupied. I hear the bathroom door open, and footsteps move across the tile floor. I see her feet walk in front of my door and then right on into the second stall!! Wait, what?!? Girl, you be kidding me?  She had on different shoes today but I knew it was her—the rookie.  

Once again I rush and finish my business. I wash my hands and am out of there before she is out of the stall. I text my friend and tell her that the rookie is no rookie after all. She is a second stall snob.

What am I going to do about this? I’ll tell you. I’m going to take an ‘out of order’ sign with me to the bathroom from now on.

PS after telling my friend about these incidents she sent me this video, he seems to feel about like I do on the matter, but reacts much better than I do.